Hand Modeling Portfolio -Sadie C

 Hello,

I am an actress based in Los Angeles. I also do hand modeling. Please see photos below for my portfolio. Feel free to contact me at info@officialsadie.com

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Casual Review of "Model Minority" the film

Today I watched a movie called "Model Minority".
It was pretty good. Since I am in Los Angeles now, it is so real and so close to home.
The great thing about it is that I was expecting a more Asian-stereotype focused film but this wasn't. It was more like a story which happens to happen to an Asian family. Not an Asian family portrait but an American family portrait with the father that happens to be Asian. This is in a way breaking a stereotype in its own. Which is great! And so real because I am sure any family could experience this.

As an Asian, I thought the family was NOT Asian at all. They are like Americanized, which they are. And only a trace of Asianness is left, for example calling grandma's ba-chan, I see that in my Japanese American friends. And the conflict with white people and black people, that is so real and such a reflection of an Asian American kid growing up in LA.

I just wondered how this family is so conflicted, do they love each other? Sometimes they do, when their mom was in trouble, the sister was quick to leave the drugdealer boyfriend to take the mother home.  But then the mother is abusive and the sisters don't give a f and seemed to give up on their mother and go hang out with their cool friends. The dad never appeared until the end. The grandma cared a little and then stopped caring until the sister is in jail, then she started caring again. That is one strange family.

Both sisters are great actresses. Perfect for the roles. The dad's face is so chiseled and handsome he doesn't look like a construction worker. And why is there a white trash mom who doesn't love the family and is a drug addict? The dad and mom are one odd couple for sure.

But yay for another great raw film reflecting a raw piece of life. Great thing marijuana is legalized so we hopefully wont see something like this happen too much.

New Website update!

Hey yall!

I am doing very fine during quarantine. Staying home and staying up to date with my training/skills.
Also launching my new website!

officialsadie.com

It's official!
Check it out!
Under "portfolio" are my reel clips. You don't want to miss me doing my zombie move, do you?

More coming up, including a play I read on zoom with a team, and Captain Planet parody, made over zoom with a bunch of friends over on the East Coast, where I get to play, you guessed it, Gi!

Stay put and praying for peace every day.

Triple Audition Day - nailed one failed one and did ok on one.

This is a diary-like post I wrote around a year ago. WOW how times have changed! who knew there would be the coro thing...

4/28/2019
Today was a fruitful day. I had 3 auditions in a row, and I drove a total of 65 miles just running around LA. Yea I was exhausted, but happy too.

In the morning, I drove to Loyola Marymount University, which is really far for me, but thankfully it was a Sunday and I did not encounter traffic!
Their building is really nice and new! super jealous haha. (but not as nice as USC, their campuses and film department are dripping in gold)
It was a student film between a Chinese mother and daughter. I can speak Mandarin so it was easier for me. It went ok. The director wanted to do a different take, and another one, so I ended up doing 3 takes. I hope it was ok.

Next I drove to UCLA. And their film department was located at the far north corner of campus, unlike USC whose film department was basically at the center of campus. I parked really far and found parking near a school which allowed me to park because today was Sunday! yay!
I walked like a mile, in search of a cafe that is open, but all I see is fancy rich houses around the campus. Who the heck lives here??? I bet not the poor students with all the debt. I wonder how far UCLA students have to live to be able to afford rent.
Anyway, I found the main cafeteria which was the only open coffee selling place in the vicinity. And I ate Panda Express for lunch lol. I found out that I totally blend in to the student crowds. Asians never age. It is true.

So this audition was also a student film and it was about an aspiring Japanese American girl who wanted to pursue her dream as a stand up comedian, but was stuck as a coffee shop barista with a horrible boss who had chest hair. Ewww. I can relate very much. Very much.
I thought I gave it my best, first doing a comedic monologue and then the audition. What really made my day was the two directors said, that was pretty well done, and the other said "basically nailed it". I was so happy!! Even if I don't get the role, I still got something out of it. Thank you for offering me the chance! (Update: I didn't get the role even though I nailed it!)

Walk another mile to my car lol. (After walking the Camino de Santiago, I find walking up to 2 miles to my car is totally nuthin' for me)

Driving to New York Film Academy this time for the 3rd audition. This is the LA actor's life man.
Great, no traffic on a Sunday, but ewww people on the West side drive like their bums are on fire! So rude too! people chill out!! Why rush on a Sunday afternoon? Game of Thrones doesn't start until 9pm!!ha.

This audition seemed easy but turned out to be the real challenge. I did not memorize my sides and it seemed that everyone else did because they did not even print out the sides. So I just read off my phone.
Then the director, who was Chinese and seemed really serious, told me more about the character. This was an innocent girl role, and he wanted me to play the role as if I was a child. Then I did a "normal girl" take, with a little bit of a condescending air which a lot of Chinese girls had. He then said, this condescending air is not forced, this girl was born and shaped to think like that. So obscure and I could not grasp the essence. So I probably failed that one.
Last, he asked me to read for the "boss" role. I did not rehearse because it was a male boss role.  But he wanted me to do it anyway. This time his directions were even more obscure. He was like, you feel like you have these glasses on, an authoritative look.  Non existent boss glasses. OK that is going somewhere I have no idea where. So I just kinda sort did it. And he was like, I did not see anything lol. He then asked me to memorize the whole monologue on the spot! That was really a challenge. I could not do so fully. Under time constraint too. And I didn't know half of what he was talking about either. I did not know these student directors can talk so obscurely. I have encountered that before but this one was particularly hard to understand!
Still, one thing he said was very helpful - I seemed to be nervous and tightened up on camera, (well I was probably just trying to figure out the nonexistent boss glasses thingy!) He reminded me to relax. That was very helpful hint. So thanks!!

So tired after 3 consecutive auditions, so I went to Walgreens and picked up my headshots, then bought ice cream as a little treat for me. And also because they are on sale. Oh the struggling actor life!

Will be updating more often.
I have multiple auditions every week. (update: wow this is well before the corona)
Please subscribe if you like :)

Beware of LA Connection

Hey blog!

So I got an audition for an improv group/show called LA Connection.
They called me to audition so I said I would go.
But then before I went, I was smart enough to ask my improv teacher at Second City about it. Because I am smart. And sexy.
And I was glad I asked, because my teacher immediately told me his experience.

So this place is actually a training center in disguise. It is not a troupe but a school. And you have to audition and then pay for rehearsals. "Pay"??? OK that is an alarming keyword to me. As a poor actor, I don't like to hear that word! And why would you have to pay for rehearsals?

My teacher said this group was found by a guy who went to Second City for a while, and then started
this place. But it was just kind of sort of an improv school that is shady. They tell you to pay dues to join, and then you rehearse for shows. Hence the paid rehearsals.

But he said he went to one of their shows, and the shows were .... yeah.
First the show was using improv exercises not even games to use as show material. And there was this rude guy who was doing everything he could to alienate the audience.
Then there is this part where the teen group were called up, and the guy made them do "accents". So audience members would choose an accent from a country and have the kids mimic all the stereotypes of that country's peoples. How offensive!! We would never do that at our classes.

 My teacher said there was the suggestion of Japan among others, and of course you then see 3 white boys mimicking Japanese accent with all the stereotypes, while the guy(owner) himself laughed like crazy. My teacher was just shocked and stunned in the audience. I asked him how did the audience receive it, he said some white women were laughing, but probably for the wrong reasons.
What the heck!! (ps my teacher is white if you wanted to know.)

So I did not go to the audition. And I would like to share the experience here. I mean where better to share it than on my blog that no one reads!

Anyway I hope it was not too biased, tried to only speak the facts.

Update on life:
My acting life is taking a sprint! I am really busy these days just booking jobs! Sometime background and sometimes speaking roles! Yay! And I am SAG-E now, getting to the point where I might have to join soon. Trying to save up for that.

Stay tuned for my awesome review of  Always be My Maybe which I just watched!

Asian perspective: Review of The Farewell Awkwafina movie part 2/2

(Continued from last post)

What amazed me about this movie is how popular it has become in the US. It has been very highly valued in the American media. I did like it too, but to me, I consider it to be one of the better made Chinese movie out of all the Chinese movies they make in a year in China. Yes, Chinese movies, as in movies made in China. This film, to me, follows largely the "formula" or pattern of Chinese movies, with Chines humor, Chinese artistic style, and maybe with some western Hollywood influence mixed in, likely due to the involvement of Awkwafina, an American rapper. But the humor, artistic style and editing are very habitual and unsurprising for a Chinese movie viewer like me. I embrace them. And they are a norm to me. But to the general American audience who are not acquainted with this type of movie-making -- specifically things like Asian humor, Chinese landscapes, family relationships of Chinese people, etc this can be new and fun to watch for an American audience, who is probably pleasantly surprised and entertained.  Most Americans have never had the chance to scrutinize the happenings inside a Chinese family. So this is just something new and refreshing. In other words, it is exotic. Which is why it became popular in the US.  The Farewell definitely stands out on its own as well-made compared to other Chinese movies, and plus the fame of Awkwafina which make the film a success in the US.

I really like the "realness" of the film. No character was stereotypical or cliche or predictable. They are all so real we can find one of two relatives that kind of resemble them. That would really hit hard for the Asian audiences. Especially the fact that every one of us has had a grandma. Everyone can relate to the loss of family members. That's why it is a film for everybody. Since the whole topic revolves around death, during the film I prepped myself mentally and was so ready to cry by the end. However the ending surprised me and my tears just never fell. They kind of choked back which was awkward. But I am happy about the ending which I shall not spoil here.

Anyway, I don't want to sound like a dork but to an Asian movie viewer like me, it is a great Chinese film but not such an over the top masterpiece as some would have said it to be.

Official Review of The Farewell by an Asian American actress Sadie 1/2

www.instagram.com/s307c
Feel free to follow me, no pressure.

So last week I watched The Farewell starring Awkwafina and other buddy Asian actors. Now, as an Asian and American actress, I do have my two cents to say about this trending film. Short summary is: I liked it! My American (white) friend who went with me really loved it. And I understood where that came from as well.

First, I was born in Taiwan and raised in the US. I totally dig the family dynamics in the movie - because my family is very very similar and I can say that the movie really portrayed the concept of the Chinese family very well. Chinese families are huge, with different members who think different thoughts. But on the surface, we want to keep it looking peaceful. "he" or the word "peace" is a central concept for the Confuscius thinking Chinese people and the Chinese family. We try our best to maintain peace on the surface and most decisions are made so to maintain the peaceful surface.

But underneath, it is definitely chaos. Especially in the film, there are family members coming from all over the place such as US, Japan...etc. Each member holds a different view on life and the meaning of "family". The discussions and fights all happen in private spaces, away from the center of the family - the grandma. Even though they all try to hide the truth that grandma has cancer from grandma herself, I feel like this grandma already knew because can they be more obvious by acting so weird! Hijacking her medical exam report? A fifty year old son crying like a baby at a wedding? Yea even I would have guessed it, not to mention a wise old Chinese grandma. However, grandma still pretends to play along with them. Just to be considerate and retain the "peace". This is my objective opinion though. The film never revealed if she ever "knew" about her illness.

I love how the film looks at death. It is sad and also humorous. I have learned in my acting class that humor and sadness are basically side by side, separated only by a thin sheet of paper. In this film, many moments definitely make me teary at one point, but then my tears never has a chance to fall down because I have to laugh at the play of humor which closely follows the sad moment.

(more to follow...)

Student film school tours, I mean auditions

Week into 3/23
I had a fruitful week in auditions.
It is interesting because I had 3 auditions and basically did a film department tour of LA film schools lol.

So 3/20 I went to New York Film Academy. Someone tell me beforehand how hard parking is! because it took me seriously 30 minutes to find a spot 1 mile away! And walked 1 mile to the school.  The whole street was full and then it was WB studio next door so no parking there as well. It was a nightmare, especially for someone who cannot drive well like me.

The audition went horrible. First I shook hand with the wrong person who I thought was the director, because the assistant looked more like the director. But the young looking kid sitting in the back was the director! OMG she looked 18 and in super casual clothes.. Oh well.
And then she was not giving clear instruction as to what I should do. Very unclear. And her face was as if bird poop had just landed on her hair or something, for the whole duration of the audition. I hope I wasn't the cause....

The same night I went to USC. Their film school department looked better than a 5-star Cancun resort. It was so fancy, with water fountain and arches... Thanks to Mr. Lucas, I suppose. This one didn't go well either because they needed me to cry on cue. I couldn't at that point. But at least the director was a normal human who smiles and holds normal conversation.
Interestingly all the auditions this week were Chinese student film projects.

The third one I went to later in the week was at American Film Institute. No one told me it was on a hill! I took the metro because it was in the middle of Hollywood and must be hard to find parking. And I was right on! There was no parking or free/cheap parking! Props to me for going by metro!
It was at night too, everything was dark and it would make driving harder.

I had to walk a while to get to my destination. When I did, I almost doubted my google maps. Where was I? It was almost magical actually, walking past homeless people and empty bars and barren LA streets, and finding yourself looking at a castle among woods. Yes the school looks like a Harry Potter castle! Maybe it was the perfect weather for walking, maybe it was the stars and clear sky, but I had an enjoyable trip walking into the castle that was AFI. See how much happier not having to park has made me? lol

The audition was for a Mandarin student film. I played a speech teacher. At first they were like, you are too gentle. So the next time I showed them my inner evil side haha. And they were like oh girl you can be mad too.

I thought I did pretty well, and this time actually had a friendly conversation with the directors. They were nice people. That and the starry sky and the view overlooking Los Angeles completed the happy night for me.

Hustling on...

Suddenly turning into a sad me

3/17 and 18
Did a photoshoot with a photographer named tibi from Las Vegas.
He was pretty chill.
He was in town for a week so I met up with him twice and did 2 shoots actually.

We sneaked into a luxury apartment and went to the roof to shoot. It was fun. Then manager found us, but she was cool enough to let us be there for a little bit and shoot a few more photos.
Funny it all worked out well.

His memorable quote was "everything is about sex." Ok I better explain.
So he took a marketing course, and every commercial and marketing plan evolves around the concept of sex and sexy. That's all every and any human wants, according to this theory. So things like coca cola, car commercial, any commercial, will feature some sort of sex appeal in order to grab eyeballs.
I mean I heard that's all guys think about all day lol. But for us women, I dont think about it so much at all. Not every day at least.
But I guess if more than 50% of the population does think that way, commercials will tend to go that way as well...
So he thinks portrait photography is also about being sexy.
I dunno. I guess. Not 100% convinced but ok I did learn something today.

I look like tom sawyer??!! lol


After the shoot, I had a happening that still saddens me today, 2 months later.
So I got into final rounds of a Kate Spade commercial thing. They were casting Asian daughters, and since I am authentic Asian immigrant daughter, and my audition tape was great, I got into the last round! The director from NY would skype with me that day to talk!
I was so thrilled, but I did a bad job. I didn't know what I was talking about. I was not charming enough as a person... so she didn't like me. That must be it because I never heard back from her!
Maybe I was tired from the shoot. Maybe I looked ugly after 2 hours of running around modeling in the sun. Maybe we just didn't vibe.
I can go on forever. But I will try not to.
Fail forward, that is what I have been taught.
I can only go on.
Even though that would have been a big break for me..

Oh Well. I will get over it.

Sorry to end this blog post in a sad tone. But I gotta say nobody is happy all the time.

3/15 My first appearance on public radio

So this is a tiny milestone to break I guess.

For the local series which I auditioned and got a role (recap here)
the producer is also doing a local radio show!
And he put me on and had a short interview with me!!
OMG! I have never been on radio before! I never liked the idea of talking my whole life lol. (only now that I am acting, I need to talk all the time..)
I was so nervous. When the time comes, I received a call. Then I was on!

Good thing is, it was only very short. Maybe 10 minutes.
They only asked me how I felt when I got the role, how did I end up acting...etc.
And I was worried that I wouldn't be funny and entertaining but I thought it would be in vain to try so I didn't even "try to be funny". And it was fine. Being funny was just naturally in my blood so I didn't need to try lol.

They asked me to give a shout-out to my friends. So I just said "omg I am on radio!!" the way people say "mom I am on TV". haha.

Why was I so cool about it? Well it was a local station, and most likely not too many souls are listening anyway.

But I was glad I made it onto the radio, for the first time ever!

Life continues...

Hair Modeling into a Bob cut

3/11/2019
Today was a record-breaking busy day. I had multiple offers for work and I had to turn down some.

At 11 I went to a hair salon in Studio City, and got my hair cut by a professional stylist. Basically by being a hair model. And I am getting paid for it. So I did it.
It was cut to up to my shoulder and was a bit short, but I pleaded that it could be in a ponytail so it was long enough to be tied up.
The stylist was not too nice but it was ok. And they had refreshments. I loved that! A professional photographer took a photo of me, which turned out really nice!

Someone said I look old.
Whatever. I got paid well.

After that, I drove to somewhere near Culver City and almost to the beach. For another audition which makes you think on your feet and do an improv scene on the spot. It was great and really fun. Afterwards they led us away to sign some papers, which made me assume I got a role? But then until today, 2 months later, I still did not receive anything so I guess it is not for me :(

Drove away to the dreaded DTLA. The traffic is so busy and crazy. And there is no free parking!! Any parking costs at least $10! I am not paying that for an hour of audition! Then I was lucky to find a spot on the street with coin machine. It ended up costing like 4 dollars to park an hour. Expensive...
The audition was at a random old building. I might hesitate to go in if it was at night. But this is the bright afternoon so it was ok.

It was for a commercial calling for Japanese women. I am not but I submitted anyway and they asked me anyway. I see on the sign in list, the names were all Japanese except for me..

On the 3rd floor of this old building, I finally found the suspicious looking room. I opened the door, 3 teenager looking kids are inside, swiping away on their phones. I was barely greeted, and was told to stand on the bright side of the room. A kid took photos of me, front and side. And they said that's all. Um are you sure?
Yeah.
They told me to wait outside the door for 5 minutes, and if they didn't call me, I could leave.

That was the randomest audition so far.

So I drove home then, having been so tired out from the day. Ended this busy day.

A weekend very looonnnngggg

This is the first weekend of March.
I was booked for the whole weekend for 2 days shoot as background for a new tv pilot.
It was a rainy weekend so I was glad the shoot was indoors.

The first day was actually kind of fun.
Not the call time though, call time was 7am in downtown, which means I need to wake up at 6 at the latest.
But I still went and parked my car in the garage they said to park in. And arrived at 7:10.
Then I was in a blue temporary tent stand thing out in the parking lot with about ten others. The tent was leaking drops of rain from time to time and we had to be careful to not get wet. It was very cold.
But the good thing was there was hot catering breakfast.
Nice!
I ate and we changed into office attire as they wanted us to. I had my blazing pink jacket on. Good and warm.

Finally we got on set, which is inside the office building that I think they rented.
The shoot was already on, with the main cast.
I was going to just walk around the office while the main actors talked in the first scene.

Second scene we did a "chaotic" office, with me fighting with another employee, spilling paper everywhere. That was wild and fun. All of us was just improvising, but it probably looked pretty nice.

I met 2 girls, one is very loud and one is giggling all the time. We kind of talked a little, but I brought my laptop again like last time (see last post) so I can work on things such as my blog! hehe
But the girl warns me to be careful because of possible theft. I said got it. And so I was hauling the laptop with me from the set to the resting area downstairs, back and forth all day. Yeah I don't know if I want to bring my laptop again...

As background actors, there are a lot of waiting times. People just sit on benches and swipe their phones until their phones die. Some people talk. A group of African Americans are chatting loudly. They got some funny jokes.

In the afternoon we shot a scene where the boss talked to everyone, which was super funny. I think this is definitely a funny show if it makes it.

Unfortunately I had to leave early and I already told them before I booked the job. So I did, and then found my car stuck in the closed parking lot. The parking lot closed at 4pm!! and it was 5:45pm.
So I cannot drive my car home because there was no one to open the garage! I was a little panicky. The crew tried to help me, but he had to wait until the assistant producer was out, which meant I waited until the shoot is done, so there was no point in leaving early.

The guy was nice to help me, but he couldn't find anyone to open the garage anyway, so he suggested to pay for my uber. So until Monday, I would have no car... But he would pay for my uber..

So I ubered to my meeting with another TV show producer, and fortunately they were still there when I got to the cafe in Hollywood. And meeting ended very soon after that. So I bought some dessert and ubered to my friend's house all the way across the city, for the birthday potluck for everyone who has a birthday from January-March. And randomly met an actress in the crowd. So it is true that in LA if you throw a stone, you would hit an actor.. Yes I had a full day...

But I didn't stay long and didn't drink, because a 6am morning next day awaited me.

Day 2 started with me Ubering from home to the set. Ate breakfast and talked with one black lady she was younger than me and came from Georgia. Her accent is so cool.
Then it was endless waiting. The whole day we only did 1 scene, which was epic but short.
It was the all hell break loose at the office, and we were to throw things around, fight each other, and do all the crazy things.
That was fun but I kicked a chair too hard and hurt my big toe really bad. It was bleeding lightly. And I was limping after the scene. Hey talk about sacrificing for art.

The good thing about it was that we had no other scene so until 5pm we just sat there and did nothing. There were a lot of snacks so we just ate and I read my book. Many people were just hanging and talking. The two girls I met yesterday did not show up today even though we are supposed to do both days.

We got off, and the producer ubered me home again. And then I had to uber back Monday morning to pick up my car.
What an experience!! It was cool but I didn't want to do it again...

First time on set at a super professional movie shoot

This was 1/26, on a Saturday. It was a great day, for the most part.
I was to be a background actor in a feature film. Later I found out it is a very serious legitimate production. I had to say it that way because, of course there are many productions that are kind of different. Maybe made in their backyard, with some friends, neighbors staring, etc.

But this was a nice full cast and crew movie. I was the first extra there. And I saw a guy stocking up a table with food. Yes there would be a whole array of food provided the whole time. Yay for that.

We didn't start to shoot until like an hour or so after call time. I am glad I was chosen to sit next to the person next to the main guy. So I was pretty much in the frame for many scenes. Or maybe just my shoulder but that's ok.

We are shooting at a classroom, pretending to take a test. It was a long time ago that I was in such a setting. But I did what I can. I looked at the physics exam that was passed down to me and that I was to be "taking", and I would probably get an F on that because I did not know any of the answers. Oh my, the falling object, the salt water density... I had not seen these phrases since high school! Reminded me of the bad memories of high school...  I just hope my smirk when I recalled my physics class wasn't recorded on tape.

The story is about a deaf girl and a guy who has an interest in her. I am not sure about copyright stuff so I will not write the title yet, until the movie's out.

I wore a pink sweater. The stylist asked me if I brought another set of clothes to change. I did but it was white, which she didn't like either. So I ended up just wearing my sweater. I wonder if pink was not a good color for the film...

Anyway, I was just "student #1". So there wasn't a lot of work, and sometimes the wait time was very long. The few of us background actors would talk for a bit.
But I was sooooo glad I brought the laptop as a prop. Now I can write about my camino trip blog which I am writing in Chinese. (I walked the Camino de Santiago last year, which was a blast and I will share more here if I have time) (But I'd have to finish my taxes first that's higher on my list of to do's lol).

Lunch was burgers and they used gas burners to heat them up so they're hot!(no kitchen) So nice as it was kind of cold and we were waiting outside. Love the professional crew!

And then I was called in all of a sudden, and put in front of the camera. I was super nervous because there was no prior notice! The producer was just like, ok you know what to do right? I was just like NO!  And they laughed. So it was a joke... lol ok. So I was to do a "roll my eyes" move. I did it, and they told me to do it again, more discreetly. I did it again, and they told me I was done. Phew, that was nerve wrecking because there was no rehearsal. But was that ok?? Later I heard 4 people were doing the roll eyes move. I wonder if mine was good or not.

So. That was my 2 seconds of fame. And I went back to blog writing.

The day was from 10am all the way until 7 or 8 pm. Very long day for me but apparently this is a short day. People were getting restless as some background extras didn't have much exposure at all so they just pretty much sat the whole day. I met a girl named Rachel and we had a nice talk.

By the end I was just so tired and I had to pay respect to everyone at the set. The lighting, equipment, camera, sound, producer, actors, everyone was working diligently without complaints even though they must all be tired. They are a good crew/cast!

At the end they wanted to record some background tracks (voice only), so they asked us to form groups. And they asked my group of 3 girls, who obviously do not know anything about physics, to talk about physics! Good choice you producer! And the "fake" conversation was soooo dry I was almost laughing out loud. I think everyone might be because we were just like,
hey did you do the homework?
Yes.
It was so hard.
Yes it was
.........
Why on earth would you asking 3 apparently nonscholar girls to talk about physics? I felt sorry for them but our clip was probably unusable.

The previous 3 guys got to talk about parties and theirs was a lot more entertaining. I was jealous they got the good topic to talk about. But then they said something about this slutty girl messed up the party house so bad so sick. It got a little wild, so theirs was probably unusable too Hahah.

So I started this day in warm Cali sunshine and ended when the stars came out and it got chilly. But I liked today's work. Hope I'll see it on screen soon. I will definitely update on this blog when it's out!!

The Surreal Audition that Went Well

Dear blog,

Can you slap me? Because I cannot believe what had just happened today.

Things started like this, I found an audition notice online that needed an Asian actress for a supporting role in a small local tv show. So I applied to it with my resume and photo. A day later, I received a call from someone named Edgar. (I was at another project and it was next to the train station, loud! I will write about it later)
Edgar gave me a chance to audition. I was like ok! He said to prepare a monologue, so I was like oh no... This is a real deal. I am afraid of monologues but I will still do it.
So I searched online for a monologue, a funny one since the character I was to audition is a smart and witty person.
I chose a monologue in which I was a teacher. And then I didn't get to practice for 2 days because the next day I had jury duty! Ok that was a super boring day and I couldn't do much.
Then I practiced like crazy the day before. I memorized it, but I think I acted so badly when I see the replay of my own video. I was so frustrated.
But then I still tried to get my act together. Finally this morning, I was a tad more confident to my monologue. I still practiced like crazy, doing it while driving, and whilest the potluck I attended today prior to the audition. My friends must thought I was crazy, mumbling something inaudible all this time.

Anyway, I drove to the audition site. When I entered the building, I could see that it was a professional audition building! There were 9 rooms, each holding an audition for some film or TV or something. OMG it is my first time in a real audition in a can't-be-more-real audition site. Everyone was waiting in line and seemed nervous. I got nervous too.
I lined up with about 7 or so people. I was the only Asian. Most were African American looking. Then the producer came out and greeted some people. He could tell I was the one auditioning for the Asian part. Well it couldn't be more obvious with my face.
I waited for about 30 minutes, (and mumbled for 30 minutes), then it was my turn.

I assumed I would be facing a camera and I was. I said hello to about 5 people in the room. Then they asked me to start. I was grateful I didn't forget or mess up. And they even chuckled at a joke at the end. And they received it well!! I was surprised! I guess I was still not very confident about my own act, but they said it was funny. And then they each had comments for me. Someone said I had great comedic skills. Another had a comment about not enough emotion -Yes I do need even bigger and more reactions, I will work on that.

Then they said they will take me for the role!!! Wow! I had never had an audition where they wanted me before! This was the first time. It was so unbelievable! I was sooooo happy. I thanked all of them, and went out of the room dazed. I could hardly believe it. It was like my hard work paid off, and it was like some sort of reimbursement for the year 2011 when I worked so hard and even crashed my car going to an audition but there was no result, none. I could still feel the sorrow when I recalled how hard I worked and the disappointment of non-achievement that came after. My parents were not supportive either. But then I felt better now. Because I got the role!! I was thanking the heavens on my way home.

Now I am a little calmed down. I do hope this was real. But I'd have to wait until next week when the producer said he will meet with me. And I will wait until I wake up tomorrow to see if this was a dream or not!

Now a Rapper

I have officially re-started my actress life!
Well at least just while I am job searching now.

So on 1/20 I went to a small music video production to do a very special role.
I was rapping in a rap music video!
Oh if my friends would have seen this... me rapping! The sun might as well rise from the west!
But that album with me rapping would probably not sell... I think I better just stick with acting/singing for now.

What I was doing was lip-syncing to the lyrics of the rap song. That's right. Fake, air-rapping - my favorite thing to do!
So for 3 days prior to the shoot, I was practicing the lyrics a lot. I still remember I was just mumbling and playing the rap song while I jogged. As I usually do not listen to rap, it felt pretty cool. I was chilling to the music while I cruised the neighborhood on my feet. Ok, maybe I got a little brain-washed. Even after a week passed I was still rapping inside my brain. But some occasional rap could definitely spice up a boring job-seeker's life!

On the day of the shoot, they said "wear something bright". That was the instruction for wardrobe. I wore a pink classy sweater because I wanted to have that "contrast" of a nice proper Asian girl - but RAPPING! wow!
And so I arrived at the location, which I assume is the director's own apartment. Then of course my wardrobe was not ok. But fortunately I was wearing a hip puffy jacket, which they told me to wear outside my pink sweater. Problem kinda solved!

The shoot was before a blank screen, sitting on a stool. I was like the 11th person. Phew long day for them! The director probably practiced the lines with the other people, but I started pretty smooth, so he was like he didn't need to practice with me.
And I thought the filming went pretty well. At least for me it was pretty smooth. Because I basically got all my lines down. So mostly I could do it in one or two takes. Smug! (that's my favorite line from the song. This is great. I am learning new vocabulary and stimulating brain as well as doing acting!)

I was out in 30 minutes. Great speedy finish! And I will just take the director (African American-ish) 's calling me a "homie girl" as a praise that I did ok!

So ended this kind of fun day! And I liked air-rapping, will do it again any time.

Sing and dance with me

Hey it's been a while!
So last Saturday I was at Sony studios doing audience work for the promo of a new show called "The Sing-off". It was great! I had a good time.

Even though I said that I would not do audience work ever again (Recap Here) Still, it's hard to reject when someone offers to pay you to watch a show. Well this time we were not really sitting on our bottoms and watching but had to stand the whole time so it was different.

The good news was, the show was not boring at all! The singers on the stage were very talented singers and their a capella was awesome, with the whole package, beat box and all. So our role was to stand in the moshpit and dance and cheer while they sing. With the dark interior and blue lights shining it almost felt like a night club. It's true that for the whole 10 hours, they repeatedly filmed the same 60-second song clip, but luckily I liked the song so it was no problem for me to dance to it for 8 hours.

What was the bad news? well, as I said, it was a long shoot. Of course we got our breaks, but 10 hours was very long. The song was repeated probably 50 times... As I observed some fellow audience members starting to sit on the ground and started showing signs of weariness (from partying too hard last night?), I turned my gaze to the stage. The singers had to dance with like raise-the-roof over-the-top energy and at least pretend that they enjoyed it. I bet THEY were tired. They were even here earlier than we were and had been rehearsing probably for hours before we came. If they were not complaining, how could we? especially that guy on stage, under the warming lights...dancing in a full suit... oh I would probably overheat myself and collapse if I were him...props to them for their stamina's.

I also met some very interesting people that day. There were 2 couples seated near us who, upon more chatting, revealed to my surprise that both met through none other than facebook! And now one couple is getting engaged! Wow I didn't know fb has a match-maker function?! It was pretty random. It turned out that both started with one person randomly added the other, and things went from there. Hmm... cool, but not something I would try.

And I also met a girl who was a vocalist in a band like me! It was pretty cool meeting her. Then she turned out to be married as well even though she was not much older than I was. I got to talk about relationships a lot today. Both the engaged girl and vocalist girl said that they knew the first time they met that their guy was "The One". That it would just come so naturally it's a no-brainer when you do meet him. It was so romantic and such fairy-tale!! So it IS real... the legend of the Mr. Right? It was so encouraging and reassuring to know... to know that you could be able to tell apart "The One"...at first sight! I involuntarily started looking through the crowd. wow it's like a jungle out there....(scanning in progress).... nope, my radar picked up nothing. (what's with the casting tonight? I thought they said specifically "attractive audience" needed..)

So then I turned off my radar and went home to rest. Phew what a long day!

My Reality Show Experience.. Oh Nothing is More Real

If you are someone who browses the casting notice sites 24/7 (like me), then you would have seen this casting notice a hundred times. It is a new reality show called "Excused". They are looking for girls and guys to join the party. Yeah basically they just need random people to be guests who speak only 1 line and get judged if he or she is cool enough to join the party.

So I was casted for that project. As well as a thousand others.

It was only a 15 minute shoot, in which we deliver our best (or worst) pick-up line to the camera. I will not disclose more than this because I signed the confidential release. Or I think I did. Or whatever that piece of document was that they made me sign before paying me.

Just watch the show if you are curious about it. Or if you are thinking what have they come up with this time? Because seriously I don't really know what the show is about either. It is still in production.

Since they asked us to come up with wacky quirky pick-up lines as well, I was really thinking out of the box. Because we were to speak to the security camera, I was going for something like "Oops wrong address...?" or "Hey my car broke down.. can I borrow the phone?"
But the producer didn't want any of those! He was looking for the cheesy conventional flirty boring-we've-heard-it-before lines. So he rejected all of my lines (oh so reality show) and made up a super cheesy line for me.

I looked into the camera and said, "hey are there any fun guys in there? Cuz I'm here to party! Come on let's do this!"

OMG that is so not me. I don't think anyone would go and just spit out this line out loud to the security cam. But then, I'm an actress. I will play any role. Even the girl-kinda-drunk-looking-for-the-next-party-to-crash-and-drink-some-more. After all, it is a reality show, gotta make it "real" right?

So I did it.
And then I'm done~!

A quick shoot. I think they are just collecting hundreds of these little scenes to pick from. Don't even know if they will pick mine, but we will find out in the fall.

Yay for my first and probably last reality show appearance. (It's too real it's not me!)

-----

I will have a student film shooting this Saturday, and then I am going to go travel and ponder about life. Why? You ask. Well, what happened was...

Unknown voice out of the sky - "Are you fine with wasting your life saying pick-up lines to the camera (not even a real guy)? Are you not feeling depressed when you sit for 5 hours doing nothing, just waiting to be an insignificant extra in a film?"

Me - "stop you unknown voice!!"

U.V. - "No I won't....You know, instead, you can totally use your time campaigning to save dying polar bears in north pole who are suffering because the ice they live on is melting by the second....*cough* stupid homo sapiens *cough*...... Or you can go save homeless dogs in shelters who will be KILLED if nobody adopts them....blah blah blah...."

Me - "OK fine I will go sit under a tree and ponder my life now thanks"

So unknown voice stops and I now have to go meditate on the meaning of life and find the solution that was never there.

Will update soon...

My Careless Unprofesshional Review of Sid and Nancy

A few days ago I saw Sid and Nancy, directed by Alex Cox. I have wanted to see it for a while. I have loved punk rock music so somehow there seems to be an unseen hand pressuring me to watch this film.

So I did.
And it was okay for me.
To summarize, as a random review on the web says, I thought it focused too much on the drug aspects of the story, which made it dark and moody. I mean I totally think doing drug sucks, but I thought there were more to the story of how punk starts other than drugs. Or maybe there wasn't?
The two main characters' lives were totally messed up by the end of the film that I started to doubt the reality of the film. Seemed like the film itself was on drug and not thinking clear. Did she really die at the end? Did he really stab him? I could not see clearly. I just couldn't fully watch by the end because it was really sad that a great and talented musician ended up so miserably, and it was based on a real story.
Again, felt like anti-drug campaign to me by the end... But I will buy it.

I have to say that the main girl is not the pretty glamour-Hollywood-actress type at all, and I think few would disagree. Was the filmmaker trying to make it "realistic"? But I have to say she was a fantastic actress. She really made it feel "realistic". Oh and the actor playing Sid was totally Sid. He looked like him, the same hair, same face, same body. He was a perfect fit! Great casting.

Throughout the film I was sometimes reminded of the film Nana which was adapted from a Japanese manga. I think even the author of Nana admitted that this film had influenced her work. The character Ren from Nana totally looks like an Asian version of Sid.

Ok end of random comment.

I have to say that by watching the film I could sort of understand why punk sounded so angry and desperate at first. It reflected what was happening in youngsters' lives at the time.
But I am also glad that punk has since changed and gradually evolved into the happy Japanese ska punk stuff that I now enjoy.
I couldn't ever relate to what Sid and Nancy were going through..... but I do like his punk hair.

---
Short update: (Has nothing to do with Sid and Nancy).

Was one of the backgrounds at a Lenny Kravitz music video. Was at USC for a short student film.

But then things are not going too well.. I am kind of in trouble. I might have to look for a day-time job ASAP! so I won't be able to do as much acting work as before...
I don't want to give up yet.. but life is harder than I imagined.
At least there are no more B*TCHES barking at me anymore :) I am grateful to God for giving me a blessed peaceful life. Thank you God and Buddha and everyone else.

Advice on Searching for an Internship in the Entertainment Industry in LA

Advice follows the update-

Last week saw a breakthrough in my (short) actress career. I played a character that I would otherwise never have gotten involved in in life (hopefully).
I played an Asian anime stripper girl. Within a team of 6 strippers. We are here to save the world with our crazy powers.
Yes. It was a comedy webisode. Pure comedy. I didn't have to flash anything of mine, thank goodness.
I didn't wear anything scandalous either. Someone else took up that job.

But hold on, let me share something way more interesting that happened in my real life. Way more dramatic than any reality tv show. Yeah I am still in shock to this day.

ADVICE STARTS HERE-

First let me start with the crazy stalker calls.
So this unknown number had been calling me for a couple of days. I didn't know who it was so I did not pick up. Thank goodness I didn't.
I ignored it until I couldn't take it anymore. So I texted her, "whoever this is, stop calling." I said.

Then a message came. It said, "stop seducing my husband, you japanese bitch!!"

I was like WHHHAAAAA?????!?

First of all, who the ... is this??
(And I am not Japanese.)
(And I... seduce?? *chuckle* who?? huh?? *giggles*)
Anyhow, I have to tell you, I was very confused.

So I searched the number and found who it belonged to. It was not a misplaced call. She knows me. It was the wife of my former internship's company's boss.

Why did she call me and say that to me?

I searched further and found that I had sent an email to the boss earlier asking him if he knew any agent/manager I can send my headshot to. I used very polite office language, just fyi. Nothing out of the normal.

Apparently she stalks his email inbox and thinks I am seducing him with that email.

And I have to add, I am entitled to ask him for connections at least, since I worked for them for 3 months for FREE, taking not one cent. It's not like the 30+ miles I drove every single day don't cost gas money. Moreover, when they were trying to lured us in during interview, they had promised connection, being one of the biggest product placement companies in the Hollywood industry.

But three months later, instead of a polite reply email, I was greeted by a figurative bitch slap on the face.

I immediately texted back, telling her, I didn't do nothin'. In a polite manner. Just trying to clear things up.

Then, a looonnnnggg text came in about 2 seconds later, that basically summarizes as follows: Don't you contact me and my husband again. I don't want to hear from you anymore. You can't act. (what?? random) Go find another married man to seduce. (Huh??)

I was again going WWWHHHAAA????

In the 3 months I worked, I had not been in contact with the boss for more than 2 hours, total. We worked in the crappy office in the back, not the nice ones in the front where they are. I don't see him. There are no other connections that I see except that the wife is Asian, and I am Asian as well. (except I didn't have to go get bot*x on my face every 6 months lol) (And to be honest, his looks are NOT handsome enough for a normal person to want to seduce.)

Why do I deserve this?

After enjoying 3 months of free labor from a hardworking intern, how can they reward me with such an uncalled-for defamation?

Traumatized, I talked to another mutual contact about it. She solved the mystery.
She said, "Yea, this wife has been known to do coo-coo things like that, and you are not the only victim. She was just crazy jealous of any woman near her husband." Ok I feel a little better. At least I am not too ugly to not induce jealousy or suspicion from Mrs. CooCoo wife. Hey, just trying to stay positive here, you know.

After a lot of meditation, buddha, chocolate, ice cream, soul food, hot bath, aromatherapy, talking to my dog, talking to my stuffed animal, playing fruit ninja, beat up my pillow, knock my head on a tree, hug the tree, crazy exercise and more ice cream and chocolate afterwards, and more meditation to calm myself..............

I finally saw the LIGHT.


Let me put it this way-

If you saw a poor thin dog starving on the street, what would you do? You'd be nice and go feed him food. However, he turns out to be a rabies-infected crazy dog and bit you on the leg after you fed him.

*ouch.....*

Do you blame the dog?
No. even after the initial shock and hurt (and make sure you didn't contract the same disease)....

"oh poor dog..." would be the more appropriate reaction.

And then you would report the dog to the police or animal control officer in hopes that the dog doesn't bite any other innocent victim. Make sure he is under control.

So I have to warn all the new interns going into the entertainment industry, try to avoid a product placement company in Noho that starts with an L and is on a street that starts with a C.
Especially if you are beautiful and/or Asian.
That's the best I could do for all the starry-eyed innocent newly-grads.

Beware, of the dog!

Dealing with Slow Business

Business has been slow... for a few days.

Well not entirely.

There was a rush call for extras at 2PM on the same day the ad got posted. I was like yay after 3 days of idleness I will finally do something. Anything. But then the CD called and said, oh it would be an adult shoot.
I was like, uuuuhhhh. eew. "oh, so what will I be doing.....?"
And she was like, "nothing. Just stand in the back and smile."
I was confused, what kind of film has some extras stand in the back and smile? so I asked politely, trying to hide the disgust, "so will there be any thing going on in the scene?"
She was like, "no. it's just dialogue."
Oh, ok.
There was only one second for me to make a decision.
"Think I will pass." I decided.
"Thank you." She replied and hung up.

I was really glad she at least said thank you. I mean she sounded pretty desperate to find some extras who can be there in an hour or two. And CD's are usually not polite. That is a privilege they get as casting directors. They get to treat extras like shit. And we gotta take it. It is becoming a rule in Hollywood.
So I thank her for being a polite CD. I think the next 9 I meet would be b*tches again.

And I go back to sitting idly at home.

But then I did something. I borrowed a book on tarot. I am on the way to learning to use tarot to answer some questions and confusions I have in life. Does it sound lame? Well, who knows? if I get good enough maybe I can put up a booth and start helping people. Yeah helping people. But first I will try it on myself.

Will I get work next week?

And I checked my email box and found 2 audition notices! One for today and one for tomorrow! Yay. I don't know why they picked me for the Disney princess theater role. (why did you submit yourself? asked an unknown voice) I don't know. You never know... I think the only 2 roles they would possibly cast me are Pocahontas or better yet, Mulan...